Logic fails miserably when my feelings are demanding. This dilemma i choose. My Love as mighty, useful and enjoyable as a tree of great age. Love does not hesitate over the bitterness as the medicine is given.
How can one ever know if their efforts minimized pain much less prevented harm? Prepared, with backing, to be altruistic, the necessary discernment consumes my interest; i am intrigued by an illuminable mystery. These answers aren't at the back of the book nor through any attribute the book may apply.
Born zen masters, all of us. A slow learner, i don't forget much. There was a lot of frustration dealing with all the dualities. I've never liked struggling over social niceties. When i say, "Take care," it is my will that the care i have goes with you. "Thank you" means i am impressed, you and your ways carry more 'weight' with me. When i "apologize" you can be sure, i am figuring out how to prevent the harm being repeated and looking for an opportunity to amend.
Beyond all training and discipline, i cannot begin until i cease all self sabotage or otherwise unhealthy thoughts-->thinking
There hasn't been found a choice, i must maintain approval of myself. Disapproval, even in a glance, sets doubt/uncertainty to motion. Uncertainty is a great yet surmountable obstacle between this beginning and the acuity in which so much motion has been invested over these times. When my thinking performs effectively while exhaustively identifying and applying that which is know. Outside of this impervious founding i may develop talent allowing my mind to build complex logic machines and paradoxioms (i needed a word, English just grew some more :) thought nodules.
Well, even before i begin, i can still sift my experience. It is not always a good idea if i am unable to dissociate from a disturbing .. once is enough, no one wants to re-live some of that ... anyhow. I continually find certainties throughout every moment of my early life. One certainty has been cleared, but it doesn't affect my will/enigma. She, the Great Master, hasn't failed to prove her Love. I suppose it's still hard for me to accept a mind of such adeptness and acuity, and then understand that what i experience is merely a messenger, proving it's quotient equivalent to mine or slightly higher and ALWAYS one move ahead.
Why has no one, that i know, read the Bhagavad gita? or for that matter, the Quran, the Dao, the Teachings of Buddha, Yeshueh's actual ministry and maybe the purpose behind it... maybe he was doing like all the other masters, reminding us to enjoy life and spread the wealth of that when you find it. Hmm, doesn't pull that 10ton blanket off me when the world is agonizing.
The will of my ages has accumulated my motions. Zazen. My mind becomes this momentum. If timing is everything, i have more patience exercises in my training. Zen can be seen as perfect patience, though even STILL, zen has nothing to do with patience.