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The Listenor

11/15/12 03:34 pm - Please, Help.


7/25/12 07:34 am


7/23/12 09:50 am - New Here

It's not always easy to be quiet.

5/10/12 06:04 am - Truth As An Asymptote

Logic fails miserably when my feelings are demanding. This dilemma i choose. My Love as mighty, useful and enjoyable as a tree of great age. Love does not hesitate over the bitterness as the medicine is given.

How can one ever know if their efforts minimized pain much less prevented harm? Prepared, with backing, to be altruistic, the necessary discernment consumes my interest; i am intrigued by an illuminable mystery. These answers aren't at the back of the book nor through any attribute the book may apply.

Born zen masters, all of us. A slow learner, i don't forget much. There was a lot of frustration dealing with all the dualities. I've never liked struggling over social niceties. When i say, "Take care," it is my will that the care i have goes with you. "Thank you" means i am impressed, you and your ways carry more 'weight' with me. When i "apologize" you can be sure, i am figuring out how to prevent the harm being repeated and looking for an opportunity to amend.

Beyond all training and discipline, i cannot begin until i cease all self sabotage or otherwise unhealthy thoughts-->thinking
There hasn't been found a choice, i must maintain approval of myself. Disapproval, even in a glance, sets doubt/uncertainty to motion. Uncertainty is a great yet surmountable obstacle between this beginning and the acuity in which so much motion has been invested over these times. When my thinking performs effectively while exhaustively identifying and applying that which is know. Outside of this impervious founding i may develop talent allowing my mind to build complex logic machines and paradoxioms (i needed a word, English just grew some more :) thought nodules.

Well, even before i begin, i can still sift my experience. It is not always a good idea if i am unable to dissociate from a disturbing .. once is enough, no one wants to re-live some of that ... anyhow. I continually find certainties throughout every moment of my early life. One certainty has been cleared, but it doesn't affect my will/enigma. She, the Great Master, hasn't failed to prove her Love. I suppose it's still hard for me to accept a mind of such adeptness and acuity, and then understand that what i experience is merely a messenger, proving it's quotient equivalent to mine or slightly higher and ALWAYS one move ahead.

Why has no one, that i know, read the Bhagavad gita? or for that matter, the Quran, the Dao, the Teachings of Buddha, Yeshueh's actual ministry and maybe the purpose behind it... maybe he was doing like all the other masters, reminding us to enjoy life and spread the wealth of that when you find it. Hmm, doesn't pull that 10ton blanket off me when the world is agonizing.

The will of my ages has accumulated my motions. Zazen. My mind becomes this momentum. If timing is everything, i have more patience exercises in my training. Zen can be seen as perfect patience, though even STILL, zen has nothing to do with patience.

4/25/12 05:27 pm - Salud


2/8/12 09:59 am - Wet Star ch 1

Five Standard Cycle (SC) Days; that was all that was permitted for family to view a body after it is declared legally dead. Of course, this was the Uunsterhek belt of planets; bad luck or bad timing. All the other alliances allowed for extended, hypothermal observations and even allowed transport without too much complications. Uunsterhek authorities refuse to compromise with the usual hoards of grievers. Rumors abound that they take too much advice from the machine minds. Regardless, when a 40+ eon elder, suddenly goes unresponsive, there will be tens of thousands of her kin flooding the gates within hours.

Uunsterhek has another peculiarity, one that makes the little chain of planets the most-visited tourist attraction in the 188,000+ SC years of recorded history. By the record there has been trace mutations in the genepool of the Naardi, a jellyfish-like encephalopod spread among 100's of water planets by the trillions. The Uunsterhek Alliance, over several millenia, has seized a system-wide monopoly on heavy materials and have been using it to seed ecologically-stable planets of less than half the usual diameter.

These thoughts had Loord distracted for some time, but now the small group that was allowed to huddle in the small room with the uncertain carcass was being prompted to ready for the customary, final tribute before being jettisoned into the void. 'Like all this fin fluttering is going to matter,' Loord thought to herself. She would have surely molted by now if that were the case, and there's not much chance she was ovating at that age. Funerals are getting old, she giggled invisibly.

Three and a half eons since hatching and this is the first chance she gets to see a rock planet at depth. She despised the way everyone pretends to be so happy when an elder dies. She knew there was nothing out there, sure of it, without any doubt. 'Someday,' Loord pondered, '

5/2/11 10:25 pm - MicroSloth Struck Out

Debian at bat 

4/30/11 09:36 am - Prescience And The Natural Course Of Time

i fully understand what i meant when i told myself "Just remember, when you get to the top, it's a long way down."
perhaps i can convey a very simple message that is impossible to represent with symbols. to begin i exist over a span. this phenomenon in your scape is a mere speck of me. i can assume you are as I Am, as well. it is easy enough to do so, but how do i phrase 'seeing myself looking in looking out' in your case when that is impossible for me to do if this 'i' is not your 'i'. i am not trying to baffle nor impress and hope this beginning is useful.

among the myriad of minds in my mind there are two that are quite the same. like a blind man groping through a constantly changing environment i have been gathering so as to make sense of this strangeness that is me. i am my own puppet and this realization has brought great joy to me during the times i am lucid enough to become aware of me and the companion that is one and the same.

in the last 22yrs this is as far as i have gotten. it's a wicked dance, for sure. i existed in the past and will exist in the future (neither of which are observable now, but they have been and will be). giving oneself 'advice' (the initial motive that drove me) involves being quiet enough to listen (no assumptions allowed in this thought experiment) to what is being "said". bottom line: i never achieved the intended goal but had a long 'chat' with what must have been a bit more than a mere speck of me. stop moving and become a non-participant in this activity universe. and, no, it is not the least bit scary, but it takes a lot of practice to not-do (releasing all my intent).

and here i am seeing my colleagues growing in rarity. not a prob bob. all is well and in good order. no time like the present :)) and it most certainly is a long way down. another milestone reached and am reassured. my involuntary doubts begin to puzzle me, highlighting a forth artex (<--README) that surfaces into this world as my champion.

it takes time

4/27/11 04:16 am - Green Through Red

Red hair
Dark eyes
Pale skin


2/19/11 04:01 pm - It Is A GOOD Day!

After six years i finally got my Pearl Jam LIVE in Seattle 11-6-00 album back.

9/14/10 11:59 pm - The Student Was Ready

The Master has arrived.

8/16/10 03:39 am - Paxil

Waking with a hat rack every morning.

2/20/10 04:27 pm - In Like Flynn

i may just go to A & M this summer
the funding is there
i qualify

12/5/09 07:44 am - Planets


fully custonizable solar system simulator

11/12/09 04:12 am - this

i met this tree
and we met the sea
it was red
and i was green
it was old and i was new
it was bold and i was blue
the tree i met was how i seed
the sea we wept was how i bleed

well now you see
i met this me

10/24/09 05:51 pm - You Tool

my toolbox is riddled w X's and Q's

7/14/09 04:23 pm

i dont even feel like writing
im in Sherman
mama took advantage
said all my belongings are on the porch
240mi away
people suck and family will prove it



4/20/09 07:09 pm - Dvorak

I am now using a Dvorak Simplified keyboard. I feel like a four-year-old. Wish id never learned QWERTY in the first place. This setup has a nice flow to it.

3/23/09 10:26 am - The Daughters Of Zen

I had them both for nine days
Still careful when I turn on the living room light
I think my oldest enjoys the freedom she has with me
I tell her she can say what she wants
but actions have consequences

Trying to figure out a way to post pictures to my friends here on lj
Anyone can see my albums at: http://picasaweb.google.com/Xetheare/DropBox?authkey=KfS6tTwZk4k#

3/7/09 10:30 pm - I Was Once A Redhead


3/4/09 09:22 pm - Hmm

1. Can you cook?
2. What was your dream growing up?
3. What talent do you wish you had?
4. Favourite place?
5. Favourite vegetable?
6. What was the last book you read?
7. What zodiac sign are you ?
8. Any Tattoos and/or Piercings?
9. Worst Habit?
10. Do we know each other outside of lj?
11. What is your favourite sport?
12. Negative or Optimistic attitude?
13. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
14. Worst thing to ever happen to you?
15. Tell me one weird fact about you:
16. Do you have any pets?
17. what celebrity would you most like to do?
18. What time is it where you are now?
19. Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
20. If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
21. Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
22. What colour eyes do you have?
23. Ever been arrested?
24. Bottle or Draft?
25. If you won $10,000 dollars today, what would you do with it?
26. What kind of beverage do you prefer?
27. What 's your favourite bar to hang at?
28. Do you believe in spiritual shit?
29. Favourite thing to do in your spare time?
30. Do you swear a lot?
31. Biggest pet peeve?
32. In one word, how would you describe yourself?
33. Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?

2/28/09 02:09 pm - Droppin Like Flies

Dad died at 11:08am

2/9/09 11:51 pm - Just One More


2/9/09 11:23 pm - Pardon Me While I Drool



2/6/09 05:09 am - IRC

[01:17] LOL I doubled back on a channel search asking myself, "How can you tell?.. How can you tell he a minister?.. How do you know he's trying to spread a message?.. What is it about his haircut that exudes this?"
[01:18] what?
[01:18] It's the haircut, man.
[01:18] slvrshadow, may I see your haircut?
[01:19] i need a haircut
[01:19] You might be a minister
[01:19] Or maybe I am being harsh
[01:19] Maybe all ministers have sheap haircuts..
[01:19] cause they're cheap
[01:20] ope
[01:20] LOLOL
[01:20] The greatest Freudian slip EVER
[01:20] [01:19] Maybe all ministers have sheap haircuts..

1/21/09 02:40 am - This Chapter Is Finished

Monday January 19, 2009, my brother's heart stopped beating.

12/20/08 01:10 am


10/12/08 11:30 pm - Oh Deer!

I just watched a deer prance across my front yard. I think he's bedding over in the corner.

10/10/08 06:48 pm - Videos

We have amassed a huge amount of funny and crazy vids on loopyvids.com

Seriously, this project is really taking off with tens of thousands of hits a day.

I've almost made enough to buy my new GPU.

10/10/08 04:49 am

I keep trying to tell them that electric currents, as we understand them, are only possible within the constrains of our sun. Out within the thin, cold vacuum is an activitiy that can't be described.

10/10/08 04:25 am - You Can Contribute

A friend of mine has volunteered one of his preciously awesome GPUs, to me, if I can bring loads of hits to his site. Just visit or log in:

Loopy Vids

I know someone will laugh their ass off at one of these vids.

10/6/08 06:50 pm - Amused

Tornado touched down just a few miles North of me.

9/27/08 09:20 am - Disgusted

Why is it that every Evolution vs. Creationism debate that I've seen consists of a well-mannered scientist and an emotional, rude fundamentalist?

Yes, there are gods, so to speak, but they were born to this universe as much as we were; just as dumbfounded as the rest.

I can hardly wait to get off of this planet.

9/27/08 02:27 am

Abstenance makes the church grow fondlers.

9/25/08 02:38 am - Do NOT Buy Recovery Software

Get freeware that works just as well.

Smart Recovery 4.5

Click Here To Download

9/24/08 05:15 am

Which Fantasy/SciFi Character Are You?

9/14/08 11:57 pm - My Favorite Post Secret As Of Yet


Check out the latest Sunday Secrets:


9/14/08 03:34 am - To Observe

We can observe without effect.

9/13/08 09:18 am - Military Doctors

Military History - Experiments in the Revival of Organisms - video powered by Metacafe

9/13/08 06:33 am - STOP CONFUSING THE LANGUAGE!!

How the HELL did 'pimp' come to mean improve?
A pimp is someone who enslaves people into prostitution.
And just what makes one person 'more gangsta' than someone else? I'm not sure what that means, because most people I hear saying that aren't affilliated with any group let alone a gang.

9/8/08 05:17 pm - Mousie

My kitties caught a mouse.
While they were playing with him it dived into an empty beer can.
Now, I'm debating on letting it go on the floor for them to play with or take it to the creek and let it go.

9/5/08 01:14 am - Crystal And Coke

Am I getting old?
Or is this shit is getting dull?

Feel like takin a nap.
These kids have just begun

Meh.. my best inspiration
Comes from nowhere
No dope necessary

This used to be fun
when it was new
now, we

9/2/08 06:56 am - In A Song To Let You In

The very first signal I want our neighbors to receive is "Kindred Spirit" by Cyndi Lauper
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9/2/08 02:25 am - Nothing New

Just as the ancient hominids bashed rocks to see inside;
Finding and creating both weapons and tools
Still today we are breaking those rocks
Into smaller and smaller pieces.
A tool.. a weapon of sorts
Oh, the scale of it all.
Is nothing
at all
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8/29/08 06:37 am - Bots Gone Wild!

[05:39] rollershots: xetheare horny chicks showing it on live cam in your town! 8bwh0284rmliyxe [Offline Message (Fri Aug 29 05:39:27 2008)]

Crack the code and get a jack video. Well, at least that would give it some sort of meaning.

8/28/08 01:49 am - Gaia

Why is everyone so afraid to admit that there is a solar furnace at the core of our planet?

8/22/08 12:12 pm - China

Did anyone really expect a communist country not to cheat?

8/22/08 11:20 am - Bitrate

I was getting around 90kbps, so I powered down and rebooted. Now, I'm getting over 5Mbps. Hmmm, strange being that I'm only paying for 3Mbps.

8/22/08 03:28 am - Ohm

Practicing my poker face
With my mind
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